Reflections and Destiny
by ZimROCKS16
Summary: Chronicles Shepard's journey from Pre-ME1 to Post-ME3 and the legacy that follows her. She meets our favorite crew members and marks them for life. As she carves her own path flashbacks show how she came to be in control of her own destiny. Eventual Shakarian.
1. Chapter 1

**Reflections and Destiny**

Today marked an important day for Commander Shepard, whether she knew it or not. Currently she was on shore leave and wandering through some of the seedier wards of the Citadel and exploring what they had to offer. She liked to get grimy every once in a while, it helped her ground herself and reflect on recent events. Namely, her being stationed on the _SSV Normandy_ alongside her longtime friend and mentor Captain Anderson. It was a welcome set of orders, and she'll serve proudly. Shepard had one more day until they'd begin their first mission, a shakedown run to make sure the _Normandy_ is as advanced as promised, and to get a real feel of what the ship is capable of. Shepard shook her head, cracked her knuckles, and smiled a small smirk to herself once she found what she was looking for. _This'll be fun._ She thought as she headed inside a an obnoxiously loud bar referred to as simply _Chora's Den._

—

In another part of the station, a small hearing was being conducted. It involved a couple of Alliance officials; Captain David Anderson, Ambassador Donnel Udina, and Admiral Steven Hackett and a renowned council Spectre, Nihlus Kryik. All of the men were meeting at a small table and discussing a very important matter.

"Commander Shepard, famous war hero known for single handedly defending Elysium from attacking Batarian Slavers. Her past isn't as important, however, considering she was a street rat that grew up in the slums of New York City." Udina commented, giving the hearing a small look at Shepard's history.

"Her past before the Alliance isn't important," Captain Anderson cut in, leaning onto the table, "but it doesn't discount the fact that Shepard always does the right thing and finishes her missions. She never says no to an order, and she carries out her missions to the best of her abilities, never cuts corners, and gets the job done above what was required." Anderson nodded, showing his support of who the commander is as a person and as a soldier.

Udina shifted in his seat while thinking to himself, _Anderson better hope that her past has nothing scandalous to be snuffed out, otherwise the Council will scoff at her becoming a possible Spectre and deny humanity another chance of Spectre candidacy._ He gave a short cough and rolled his shoulders, trying to relax.

The eldest and most respected Alliance official leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on the table. He regarded both of his companions opinions. "Yes, of course. Shepard is an outstanding soldier, has excellent morals, and gets the job done. I have no doubt that she'll be a perfect fit for becoming a Council Spectre." He then looked over at the fourth member of their meeting, a medium brown Turian with frost colored facial markings. "Do you have any questions about the commander, Spectre Kryik?"

"Commander Shepard sounds like a well respected woman," Nihlus began, looking over the three human men around him, "but would she serve the needs of the Alliance first before the Council, or would she serve the Council first as every Spectre is sworn to do so?"

Donnel Udina paled at this inquiry, he didn't personally know the commander besides their initial meeting when she first visited the Citadel. However, before Udina could really start sweating, Captain Anderson spoke without a thought.

"The Commander is an honorable woman, she would ultimately serve the Council first, as a Spectre should. After her duties to the Council are fulfilled, then she would assist her Alliance." He nodded and looked at the Turian.

"Then I agree to oversee Commander Shepard during this process. Thank you all for meeting with me." Nihlus nodded at each of the human men. He then rose to his feet, shifted out of the chair, and turned to leave.

The three human men all waited until his departure, and then collectively sighed in relief. Shepard is their best pick and if she wasn't satisfactory enough, they'd be in hot water.

—

Shepard weaved her way through the crowded club, music was reverberating in her chest. It sounded like Expel 10, so it wasn't exactly terrible but it certainly wasn't one of her favorites. She much preferred music from around the 20th-early 21st century, it just had more substance.

She made her way to the bar, probably the only reason she came here. Seedier bars always had the stiffest drinks. She had enough of the Citadel pushing their elite agenda down her throat, she wanted somewhere with grime and honesty. Places where the common rabble would frequent in their downtime hours.

The bar was illuminated by a couple of spotlights, and scantily clad Asari were moving to the music. They were trying just a tad too hard to impress those around them, Shepard watched them for a moment, empathizing with them that this is where they work at and they do it because they must to survive. The Citadel could be a very dangerous place if you didn't find a means to survive.

Shepard then glanced towards the Turian bartender who was currently arguing with a balding human C-Sec officer.

"Harkin, I've told you. Pay your fucking tab or I'll bring it up to C-Sec." The bartender threatened.

"I hear ya, I hear ya. First… one more drink!" Harkin tried to reason, already obviously drunk and craving more of his liquid vice.

The bartender sighed. Shaking his head before responding.

"Harkin, go home. Pay your debt before you come back. Nobody is going to serve you otherwise." The bartender signaled to a couple bouncers, who then grabbed Harkin's shoulders, pulling him with them.

"Fu-fuck you!" Harkin slurred while trying to wrestle his way out of the bouncers' grasps.

Shepard averted her eyes and shook her head, that man needed some help.

"Now, miss, is there anything I could get you?"

Shepard looked up, and spotted the same Turian bartender cleaning his spill pad behind the bar right in front of her.

"Yeah, I'll have a glass of _Serrice Ice Brandy."_

Shepard nodded at him as he moved to grab a bottle of the aforementioned. She noticed that Turians always moved gracefully, as if they were in a dance to their objective. It definitely didn't excuse the fact that they were definitely built to be an apex predator. The way their legs were built and their feet, angled and ready for a sprint. How did her people manage during the First Contact War?

"Here you go, ma'am." The bartender interrupted her thoughts by sliding her glass towards her.

"Thanks," Shepard smiled warmly, "have you always had a problem with that man, Harkin?"

The Turian seemed surprised she noticed his exchange with the man.

"Uh, no, not really. Just for a few months. He used to be an upstanding customer, paying his tab and had a good personality. Then suddenly he took a full 180, it was a shock, really. Don't know why." The Turian shook his head.

"Ah, I see," Shepard said softly, "I hope he's doing okay and gets back on track." She smiled up at the Turian.

"Me too." The Turian shifted his mandibles into a relaxed 'smile' as humans took to calling it. Strangely, it also made a lot of humans look afraid.

In a way this was weirding this Turian out because no human has ever seemed so… comfortable dealing with his race before. He guessed there was a first for everything. He then shook off his thoughts before he got lost in them, and turned to help another customer.

Shepard sipped on her brandy, just surveying her surroundings again. Krogan were in the corner making bets, there was a couple of stoners laughing at something on their omnitools, and there was an old Turian in the corner receiving a lap dance from a young Asari woman. He didn't seem too into it, almost like he was distracted.

 _Oh well,_ Shepard thought, _maybe I'm not the only one who isn't seduced by the Asari._

She took another sip, and internally congratulated herself for making it this far and for being a better person than she was eleven years ago.

At least nobody has figured it out. Yet.

—

A/N: okay, so that was the first chapter! Woo! I've written this chapter on my iPhone and will continue to do so until I get a new computer. The thing is, writing on mobile leaves plenty of room for errors, so please let me know if there are any. I love Mass Effect and I'm excited for the release of Andromeda in 2017, but I had to finally write my own story of my Shepard in the stars for everyone else to see. This fic will follow the basic Mass Effect storyline with all DLCs included, but dialogue will diverge slightly and not be quoted word for word. As we go on, Shepard will have flashbacks, and it'll reveal a ton about how she came to be and who she is truly as a person. Stay tuned!


	2. Chapter 2

The Citadel was quiet, there were very few people awake, much less roaming the wards. Even the holographic sky was still dimmed, allowing everyone rest. Shepard was suddenly startled awake, her omnitool was blasting obnoxiously loud music. She was not fond of loud music in the early morning in the slightest. Not that anybody really did, anyway. 

The time: 0600 hours. She had roughly an hour to get ready before the start of her new assignment. It was a liberal amount of time allotted, but she figured she might as well enjoy the last few moments of privacy before she returns to crowded life on a ship.

She took a deep breath, while gliding her limbs across the silken sheets, then rolled towards the edge of the bed. A few seconds later she's standing, and trying not to fall back into bed. Groggily, she raises her arms above her head, and then bends at the waist, feeling every pop along her spine. _That's much better,_ she smiles to herself.

There's a slight bounce in her step as she moves towards the blinds in her room, then yanks them open… just to cover her eyes and hiss at the brightness. She was definitely not ready for that.

"Next time I'm here, I'm bringing a lovely pair of sunglasses…their day/night cycle is borderline ridiculous." Shepard mumbled angrily to herself as she took in her room's view. She had a perfect view of the intricately built pathways that connected both sides of the presidium, letting people travel easily across to access the many stores and political embassies that littered it. The presidium almost had an innate glow, probably due to the immaculate upkeep by the Keepers.

Keepers creeped Shepard out.

She then turned and dragged her feet towards her bathroom. Time for her to enjoy the last time she can shower in privacy in who knows how long.

The bathroom was decorated in muted grays and charcoal hues. Giving her feelings of comfort. The tiled floors were heated, so she didn't have to worry about her toes freezing. The vanity was stocked with her personal toiletries and big fluffy towels and wash cloths were hanging on the towel rack.

Shepard then undressed, haphazardly threw her clothes in the corner of the room, and stepped inside the shower. She didn't take long to shower, even though she wasn't in a rush.

Getting out of the shower she almost slipped, but thankfully caught herself using the towel rack. Good thing it was sturdily mounted to the wall. She chuckled at her clumsiness, then proceeded to dry down and make her way to the mirror.

She looked at herself, but focused on her hair. Jet black, light reflecting off it in a halo. It was still slightly wet, but she took a few strands of it and twisted them between her fingers. Then she glanced at her eyes, bright, striking blue. She never gets used to her reflection, even though it's been that way for a while.

—

" _Alexandria, where are you?" Her bully shouts, she can't even remember his name looking back. He's tearing apart the playground looking for her, just a sign that she's still there so he can push her around and hurt her._

 _If I'm quiet he won't find me, she thinks._

 _He keeps looking, nearing her location in the bushes. She holds her breath, hoping that he won't see the red of her hair._

 _Right, when she was this young she had red hair. Red hair and bright green eyes. She was only ten. A tiny ten year old that barely weighed 25 kilos._

 _She covered her mouth when she thinks he spotted her, holding back a scream. Her arms are covered in black and brown bruises._

 _Thankfully, he leaves. Mumbling about not being able to make her scream and cry._

 _She never went back to that playground, and she left her orphanage forever._

 _This was the day when she became a true street rat._

—

She shook her head, clearing the memory.

Years later she changed her hair color and eye color for a new start. Just to leave her past behind. It wasn't all bad, however.

 _I still have my freckles, though, she smiled to herself._

Her hair was finished drying so she quickly styled it into a high bun, and she clipped her bangs back with a Bobby pin. Add a little nude lipstick and light mauve blush and she was ready to go.

She regarded herself in the mirror, gave a smile, and turned back into her room to get dressed.

—

Shepard was wearing her uniform and making her way down the docking bay when she spotted her captain. She quickly joined him in front of the Normandy.

"Commander Shepard, reporting for duty. I've received my orders, Captain, and I look forward to serving alongside you on the SSV Normandy." Shepard saluted, locking eyes with Captain Anderson.

Anderson saluted back and smiled, "likewise, Commander." He then gave her a pat on the shoulder, "don't have to be so formal, though." He smiled.

"Hell of a ship," Shepard commented. It wasn't huge by any means, but it was the best of the best. New technology, handpicked crew, and it was extremely hush hush. Need to know basis right from the top.

Shepard thought the press release would kiss ass for the council, the Alliance wanted their favor. Showing that the Turians were working with them on a project not so long after they were fighting them would definitely look good.

"That she is, ready to meet the crew?" Anderson turned towards her.

 _Wait… Haven't I already met the crew?_

"Um, Anderson, haven't I already met the crew?" Shepard asked, clearly confused.

"Yes, you have. Except for the pilot and… a Council Spectre." He said, ominously. Almost like he was hiding something.

" A Spectre? That's a surprise. Thought this was supposed to be a standard shakedown run…"

"It is. The Turians just wanted one of their own to join us. Show of unity." Anderson replies, a little uneasily.

"Ah, that actually makes sense," Shepard brushed it off, "I'm fine with it either way, sir. I'm ready to meet them, lead the way." Shepard motioned for him to lead her.

—

Shepard immediately was amazed as soon as her and Anderson stepped foot onto the _Normandy._ The ships VI warned them to standby, as decontamination was in progress. Just the airlock looked immaculate. Shining metal, perfectly applied paint, bright bulbs illuminating it.

Shepard decided she already liked the ship.

When the doors whooshed open, she definitely decided she liked the ship. Granted, it was a little dim inside the ship, but it felt like home immediately.

The ship was bustling with crew members awaiting their first orders, a few crew members paused and saluted at them. After saluting back, Anderson quickly gave his apologies and said he realized he was needed in the ship's conference room. At least he gave her the okay to explore.

First, she decided to turn left to introduce herself to the pilot. Upon entering the cockpit she noticed just how many terminals were needed to actually pilot the Normandy. All these scanners, systems, and read outs were all over the place. It was staggering to see so much in such a little space.

"So, you just gonna stand around with your mouth hanging open?" The pilot immediately shot at her.

While she was looking around in awe, he had turned his chair around to face her.

"Damn, you waste no time making a girl feel welcome. I'm Shepard, Commander Shepard. You're…?"

"Oh, shit, _you're_ Commander Shepard? I didn't mean anything with the mouth comment, uh, ma'am. I'm flight lieutenant Moreau but just call me Joker. Everyone does." Joker hastily responded. Once he realized who she was he became a little nervous.

"Calm down, Joker. Don't get all stiff and serious now that you know who I am. Call me Shepard." Shepard laughed at his sudden change in demeanor. People need to stop freaking out over who she is. She was just a normal person.

"Sorry Comman- uh, Shepard. It's just your reputation, single handedly defending Elysium during the Blitz? You're practically famous." Joker looked star stuck, like he met some famous movie star.

Shepard shifted, crossing her arms and jutting a hip out.

"Right," Shepard sighed, "the Blitz."

—

 _Shepard was 22, on shore leave, and walking around early in the morning trying to clear her head._

 _She didn't know if she wanted to accept her N commendation and go through training, or if she thought she was nuts for even considering it. It would be a huge responsibility and she couldn't take it back. Was she really N material? Huh._

 _She decided to sit down against the city's barrier wall. Maybe if she relaxed and took in the scenery it would give her an answer._

 _After a few moments, she thought she heard someone on the other side of the wall speaking in what sounded like Batarian. Almost like someone was giving orders. That got her attention._

 _She looked around for a way to get a vantage point to see over the wall, and she was met with a tree. Perfect._

 _Upon climbing it, she noticed a small group of Batarians were gathered and speaking quietly. Then one of them crouched down and pulled out a makeshift bomb device. That wasn't good. She quickly sent out a message via omnitool to her fellow friends, reported it to the police, and prepared for the worst._

 _After a couple of seconds, the Batarian with the explosive device attached it to the wall._

 _Yeah, they were definitely going to use it on the wall. Of course Shepard just had to be there._

 _She might as well delay them breaching the wall for a couple of seconds, but her guys some time._

" _Get the fuck away from here!" She shouted at them, as she used her biotics to throw the front of the group into those behind them._

 _The clinking of armor and pained grunts chorused together as those at their flanks got into a ready position. Those who were thrown quickly scrambled back into an upright position and immediately I holstered their weapons, awaiting orders._

" _Blast the wall!" The presumed leader screamed._

 _Shepard immediately dropped down and used her biotics to alleviate her landing, and got in cover behind the tree._

 _Fuck. She's riding this one solo._

 _It happened in slow motion, the wall blew up and chunks of metal and concrete flew in all directions, the grass in the immediate area was just torched earth. The damage from such a tiny makeshift device was catastrophic, she hoped her friends would get here soon and already alerted the city._

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck, Shepard internally screamed when the gunfire started._

 _She reached down to her sidearm, the only gun she had on her, and switched the safeties off. At least they didn't have the rely on ammunition, just had to wait for the gun to cool down._

 _She took a deep breath and held it, as soon as she heard a break in fire, she leaned out of cover and took aim…_

—

A/N: hey guys, wrote another chapter for you! I have a plan for this story and how I want to write it and I hope I improve as time goes on, but for now, bear with me! Leave a review and let me know what you think. I'm trying to be subtle with cues here and there that reveal Shepard's past and give insight to her actions, personality, etc.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! XOXO


	3. Chapter 3

_Previously on Reflections and Destiny…_

 _She took a deep breath and held it, as soon as she heard a break in fire, she leaned out of cover and took aim…_

—

 _Her sights were set on a Batarian's neck, she took the shot. Blood erupted from his wound and his gurgling momentarily distracted the others around him, she then managed to shoot another in the chest before leaning back into cover._

 _She really, really wished she was in armor right now. Having to rely on iron sights instead of her armor's computer calculating shots made her feel uneasy. She was nervous._

" _Flank the human," the leader shouted, "make her scream!"_

 _Shepard glanced around the tree and noticed other Batarians providing covering fire as a small team broke off to try and get around her line of sight._

 _Shepard quickly warped another Batarian that was close to her position, shredding him apart before quickly ducking back into cover._

" _C'mon, c'mon… Where's Roberts, Lucas, and Marx?" Shepard wondered aloud as she waited for another break in fire. She was trying to stay calm, deep breaths, staying focused. She couldn't let them further into the city._

 _As she leaned out of cover again to shoot the Batarian, her omnitool pinged, distracting her ._

" _Ah, shit!" Shepard gritted her teeth, she'd just been shot in the arm. Answering the call, she was met with Roberts and Marx._

" _Shepard," Roberts began, he looked stressed, "Lucas left hours ago while you were out, so he's a no go. The police have been notified of the breach, but for now they're focusing on securing the citizens and making sure they're safe."_

" _I- shit, okay… hold up," Shepard leaned out of cover to shoot two other Batarians, one was killed the other was wounded but retreating back into cover, "ask Marx if she can hack into the colony's security cameras, we need to figure out if this is isolated or part of a siege."_

" _Yes, ma'am." Roberts said, he then turned away from the camera and communicated with Marx._

 _She leaned out of cover again to put a bullet between the eyes of the Batarian she'd just wounded._

" _Alright, Marx is on the cameras. She said it would take a moment." Roberts updated._

" _Alright, good. Now I need you to coordinate with the police until I get there, see what their plans are . I should be back in city in a few and you can all report to me then."_

" _Yes, ma'am! Oh, and lieutenant? Give 'em hell." Roberts saluted and ended the call._

 _Lieutenant Shepard was in command, that just sunk in._

 _Shepard didn't hear anymore gunfire so she leaned out to be met with the Batarian leader of the small team she just slaughtered._

 _Now that she had a closer look, he was scarred. His two left eyes were clawed shut, and his armor was battle damaged. They must've been Batarian pirates because they definitely didn't look military wearing armor like that._

" _Human, this is just the first part of the plan. Your colony will become rubble. This city is the beginning." He sneered. "Elanos sends his regards, Alliance scum."_

" _Well, tell him I send mine."_

 _Shepard used her biotics to lift him off the ground before throwing him. His body flew into a still standing section of the wall, his body crumpled to the ground and appeared lifeless._

 _Still, Shepard thought, what if he isn't?_

 _She cautiously walked towards his body, awaiting any movement to indicate he was still alive. She leaned down to check his pulse, suddenly his right eyes flew open as he lunged at her with a knife._

 _She ducked out of the way, it narrowly missed her head. She then grabbed his wrist and his arm, and twisted it back so he stabbed himself in the throat._

 _He was choking on his own blood, as he was bleeding out. It would be a painful death._

 _She could've shot him to end it._

 _She didn't. She got up and started walking away as he was gripping at his throat and gagging on his own blood._

 _When she was a slight distance away, about 5 minutes from camp, she started to feel the adrenaline wear off and the dull throbbing in her arm appeared, she just remembered she'd been shot._

 _She bent down, ripped some fabric off her pants leg, and turned it into a makeshift tourniquet for her arm. It'll have to do._

—

" _Shepard!" Roberts shouted, he was in full armor. "Get in here."_

 _Roberts was waving her in towards a small building in the outskirts of the city. He was already wearing full armor minus a helmet, but his brown hair was still messy and in his eyes, he needed to get it cut._

 _When they were recruits, she used to childishly call him cocoa, he reminded her of warm hot chocolate. Light brown skin, dark brown hair, and chocolate eyes. And he always had a warm personality, he was like the home she never had._

" _You look like shit," he grabbed her arm and looked at it before tying her tourniquet tighter._

 _Shepard snorted, "tell me something I don't know."_

 _He then grabbed her face and turned her head to the side to examine her._

" _Well, your ear has been clipped…" He squinted at the wound while looking it over._

" _Shit, really? A Batarian lunged at me, tried to stab me in the face, guess I'm glad that my ear was the only thing that was caught." Shepard replied, sheepishly. She thought he didn't catch her._

 _Roberts smiled, lopsided as ever before he turned and walked deeper into the house._

 _Shepard followed him for a few seconds before pausing, "where's Marx?"_

" _She's back in town, she broke into the police station to get direct access to the visual feeds. She decided having no lag would be better because every second counts if this is a siege." Roberts replied as he was rummaging through a bag._

" _Ah, here," he turned back to Shepard and bandaged up her ear, "better?"_

" _Much," Shepard smiled before putting her commander face on, "tell me what the police are up to, has the Alliance been contacted yet?"_

 _Roberts stiffened and his eyes shifted._

" _No, no they haven't. Police don't want Alliance interfering."_

" _That's bullshit! What if this is a siege? Peoples lives are at stake!"_

" _Trust me, I know," Roberts guided Shepard towards a back door, "it's just how colonies are. They don't like us interfering."_

" _Still, stupid fucking call. Let's get to Marx, that way we can get a read on the situation."_

 _Roberts opened the door and Shepard followed._

—

" _Marx!" Shepard shouted when she saw the younger girl hunched over a terminal._

" _Lieutenant," Marx turned around, worry etched in her brows. "You were shot!"_

 _Marx's petite body was curled up in the chair. Her short hair was in disarray and she hadn't even had time to put in her contacts, she was wearing her glasses. She was like a little sister to Shepard. Strawberry blonde hair, pale skin, light brown eyes, and so many freckles that they rivaled her own._

" _I was, Marx, but I'm doing okay. How are things?" Shepard inquired._

" _Not so good, the police are trying to act as if the wall wasn't just blown apart south side. I'm monitoring communications and they're telling civilians to report to the town hall immediately." Marx pressed a few keys, before swiveling around to face Shepard. "Look, here," she pointed at the Eastern Wall, "the camera keeps glitching out, like someone is actively trying to block the signal. I was checking the recordings from the south wall, and about an hour before the wall was blown the same glitch happened. I think it's Batarian scouts covering their tracks."_

 _Shepard furrowed her brow and bit on her lower lip, "which means they're about to strike the east wall… fuck, we're in a siege."_

 _Shepard turned around and looked at Roberts, "contact Alliance command. We're going to need the Alliance's help, whether the colonists like it or not. We don't need another Mindoir. After that, you're coming with me to the Town Hall."_

 _Shepard turned back to Marx, "I need you to monitor camera feeds. Keep me updated via omnitool and send constant reports to the Alliance so they can corroborate with our efforts."_

 _She then glanced between them, "at the town hall we need to update the civilians, the police aren't going to cost this colony their lives."_

 _Roberts and Marx glanced at each other before smiling proudly and saying "yes, ma'am!"_

—

 _While Roberts contacted Alliance high command Shepard was sitting on the floor and pulling on her armor, going through the motions of clasping seals for each section. A faint hiss followed after each seal air locked._

" _Lieutenant Shepard is in charge, sir. Yes, that's right. No, they won't cooperate. Shepard has decided to directly speak to the colonists. The nearest ship is over 6 hours away? Damn it. Ensign Marx has figured out that the next wall to be breached is the east side in 40 minutes. Yes, I understand, we'll make do." Roberts was pacing as he was speaking to someone at Alliance HQ._

 _Shepard stood up once she gave her armor another check over and glanced at Roberts._

 _Poor kid, the Alliance is all 'go by the book', they need to rush this, Shepard thought._

 _Shepard walked over to to a now armored Marx, "hey, will you be okay here?"_

 _Marx looked up and smiled, "yeah, I think so. I've always been better with computers than using a gun – even with the in suit computer running background aim assist. I'll be fine." She then reached down and grabbed something. "Plus, if things come to it," she flashed Shepard what she was holding, "Roberts just helped me get this Striker II."_

 _Shepard couldn't help it, she smiled a genuine smile. "Good, I'm glad. Keep in contact, I'll see you soon."_

" _Likewise, LT." Marx saluted quickly and turned back around to her video feeds._

" _Shepard, ready to head out to the town hall?" Roberts reminded her._

" _Yeah, let's start a civvie militia and see if we can get the police to help."_

—

" _Why should we believe you?" A frightened man shouted at her. They were in the middle of the town hall, trying to warn the people._

" _What could we possibly get from this? I know you're scared, and I know that this is a huge risk. The Alliance just wants to help, but they can't help you unless you help yourselves. If those Batarians get in this city, we're all done." Shepard tried to reason with them._

 _The crowd looked like they were starting to come around, understand what was at stake._

" _But you're Alliance, we don't like the Alliance!" One of the officers in the back shouted._

" _It doesn't matter what I'm a part of, this is about survival. You either fight or you let them win. I'm choosing to fight, who's with me?" Shepard rallied._

" _I'm with you." An older woman declared, she was probably around the age of 40._

" _So am I," a young man said, who looked 18, "we all are."_

" _Well, that's that… what about the police force? Are you still going to refuse to defend your city because you think letting the Alliance help means you're weak?"_

" _We're in this fight too," an older man in uniform said, "I demand it. Still, I doubt the Alliance won't try to demand from us following their help. I just see that it'd be a dumb move to refuse it either way."_

 _Roberts stepped up next, "alright then," he began, "Shepard and I put together a plan."_

 _And they did._

 _Their plan was to fortify the positions of interest to the Batarians. Civilians over the age of 18 were supplied with basic handguns and light armor from the police station. Those with training from previous military or police experience were given leadership roles. Those with health backgrounds set up an impromptu medical center and prepared medical kits for each individual squad. Shepard, Roberts, and the Police Chief, Hannigan, were put in charge of each wall that wasn't breached yet. There was a small group of police sent to hold the southern wall in case the Batarians decide to strike there again._

 _With only moments to spare, the Batarians attempted to take the eastern wall, but Roberts managed to stop them._

" _Shepard, Roberts has already seen to the group trying to break the eastern wall," Marx reported._

" _I see, I knew he could do it. See anything else amiss?" Shepard was currently ducking in cover in a building's alleyway, it gave her a clear view of most of the northern wall._

 _She really hoped the Batarians weren't dumb enough to keep trying._

" _Actually yeah, I'm getting weird signal interference from the south wall again… do you need me to investigate?"_

" _Wait, weird how?" Shepard stood and leaned against the wall. She furrowed her brow, that wall section is being watched by a squad of police._

" _The camera is offline, I haven't heard any gunfire, but something just doesn't seem right." Marx sighed as she pinched her nose bridge, "should I go investigate, ma'am?"_

 _Shepard chewed on the inside of her cheek. Marx was right about being better with computers instead of guns._

 _If she doesn't send Marx, it could give Batarians more time to organize a strategy in the south. Still, if she does send Marx and she dies… she wouldn't forgive herself._

 _She needed to be in command of the situation. They all knew what they signed on for._

" _Okay, Marx, check it out. Go in quick, scout around, and if there's trouble, don't get caught." Shepard pursed her lips._

" _Yes ma'am, I'm going to head down there. Marx out." Marx cut the connection._

 _Please be careful, Marx, Shepard thought to herself._

 _She hoped there wouldn't be any nasty surprises._

—

 _It's been a few hours since Marx last reported in._

" _Marx, come in," Shepard repeated into the comm._

 _She kept on trying to establish contact with Marx, but it kept failing._

 _Shepard kept pacing around in circles._

" _I'm going south, Roberts," Shepard spoke into her comm, "I need to find out what happened to Marx."_

" _Ma'am the Alliance said that they're inbound, under ten minutes to provide support," Roberts responded back, "I'm curious too, but you're needed here to speak to Captain Hackett."_

" _You can handle him. I'm going to find her."_

—

 _Shepard was frantically running towards the south wall breach. She needed to know._

" _No, no no no… please, no…" Shepard started tearing up as she stumbled onto the scene._

 _There was nothing left near the breach in the wall. It was rubble, Batarians and Humans blown to bits. What caught Shepard's eye is dangling from the tree she was using as cover earlier were Alliance dog tags._

 _Shepard carefully pulled them off the tree and turned them over._

 _Lillian Marx._

" _Shepard, Captain Hackett is here. The colony is secured. Waiting on you to make it back." Roberts spoke suddenly into the comm._

—

 _Fast forward, a few days later. They were on the SSV Agincourt._

 _"You don't get it, Roberts!" Shepard was livid, "she died, and I'm getting a Star of Terra, going into the fucking N7 program. and a God damn promotion. She got a fucking hole in the ground."_

 _Roberts was clenching his fists, Shepard wouldn't accept it that it was the risk they all signed on for._

" _Shepard, she knew the risks, we all did. She wanted to keep that colony safe, and she asked for those orders. It isn't your fault, it isn't anyone's fault except for those Batarian bastards!" He threw his arms in the air._

 _"I- I know," Shepard collapsed onto the ground and held her face in her hands, "it doesn't make it hurt any less. She deserved so much more than to die taking out those Batarian fucks." Shepard was crying._

" _Sh, I know," Roberts sat down beside her and gripped her shoulder, "I know." He then pulled her into a hug._

—

"So, Joker, looking forward to this shakedown run?" Shepard motions around with her arms, "looks like you have a hell of a set up, here."

"Oh, boy, am I! Although, I've already set the Normandy through her paces, but you can ask the Captain about _that_." Joker smirks.

"Really? I guess I might have to," Shepard chuckles, "I'm going to meet this Spectre we have on board, see you around."

"Careful, Commander. That one is a hard ass." Joker warns and turns back around.

—

A/N: Okay, very heavy on the flashback this chapter. I wanted to fully explain what Elysium was like for Shepard. It was another thing that shaped the Commander we now know. (And it also gave her a gnarly scar on her ear.)

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